Living vicariously through others' Twitter lives...

It started innocently enough, surfing the App Store for free tools that seemed interesting or worth my time; Stanza has free books (classic sci-fi I never had the chance to read in high school), and the Amazon Kindle for books I buy; Facebook on the iPhone is ok, good as a reader, and I like staying in touch with friends and relatives. Sad, I won't write a note or pick up the phone, but I'll check relatives' FB page every day. I'm a reader - I don't stand in line or wait for appointments without something to read, and the iPhone is significantly smaller, lighter than any paperback, and holds so much more.

And then I downloaded Twitter, and started following business and technology gurus, expanded to follow writers and musicians I like, TV/Movie folks (MythBusters, Whedonverse and BBCA shows) and other tech writers in the STC.

Twitterific has a "Nearby" feature, to see tweets from people in my neighborhood - mostly sad tweens or angry people venting - we have such small lives, some of us...

And then there are the exceptional tweets - wise, inspirational, joyful, insightful. So worth it to sift through the mundane for the gems.

Speak Truth to Power

I don't know who said it, but it's something everyone should do. Speak up, be heard, stand by your principles. Don't be content to stay in an environment (work, home, school, whatever) where you don't have a voice, aren't heard, can't make a difference - you'll get grumpy, resentful, and will take out your frustrations on the wrong people.

Most of the time, the person causing your distress isn't even aware how you feel. The powerful among us (typically folks in supervisory positions) are just doing their thing, trying to meet deadlines and coordinate the effort of a group of disparate staffers, each with different workstyles and motiviations. Your frustrations are probably not even on the radar.

So, have the conversation. A calm, thoughtful, fierce conversation. Be honest with yourself. Use this format:

"When you {grevious action here}, I feel {hurt, disrespected, betrayed}, and it affects {my morale, ability to work effectively, the quality of my work product}. 


Then take a breath, and wait. As long as it takes, just wait, calmly and unemotionally, wait for your feedback to sink in. What *should* happen is that the person hears you, your feedback, and is open to making adjustments going forward. You might be pleasantly surprised, and motivated to have these kinds of open discussions with other people in your life.


That said, be prepared for a verbal blow up...if it goes badly, you really need to move on - this is a toxic environment and cannot be saved...run away!