Speak Truth to Power

I don't know who said it, but it's something everyone should do. Speak up, be heard, stand by your principles. Don't be content to stay in an environment (work, home, school, whatever) where you don't have a voice, aren't heard, can't make a difference - you'll get grumpy, resentful, and will take out your frustrations on the wrong people.

Most of the time, the person causing your distress isn't even aware how you feel. The powerful among us (typically folks in supervisory positions) are just doing their thing, trying to meet deadlines and coordinate the effort of a group of disparate staffers, each with different workstyles and motiviations. Your frustrations are probably not even on the radar.

So, have the conversation. A calm, thoughtful, fierce conversation. Be honest with yourself. Use this format:

"When you {grevious action here}, I feel {hurt, disrespected, betrayed}, and it affects {my morale, ability to work effectively, the quality of my work product}. 


Then take a breath, and wait. As long as it takes, just wait, calmly and unemotionally, wait for your feedback to sink in. What *should* happen is that the person hears you, your feedback, and is open to making adjustments going forward. You might be pleasantly surprised, and motivated to have these kinds of open discussions with other people in your life.


That said, be prepared for a verbal blow up...if it goes badly, you really need to move on - this is a toxic environment and cannot be saved...run away!